The good news is, the internet is a very distracting place! We’ve got a lot to work with here.

One idea is to amplify the original post that caused the harassment to begin. You never want to amplify the abuse (don’t give them the pleasure!). But by amplifying the original voice you’re saying, “hey, we’re going to let this person have their voice. We’re going to like it, we’re going to upvote it, we’re going to retweet it, we’re going to share it.” Online harassment, like all forms of harassment, is often intended to silence people. By lifting their voices, you’re not only reminding the person being harassed that their voice matters, you’re also showing the people who harass others that their attempts to silence this person have backfired.

The other strategy is drawing attention away from the abuse. It’s really hard to be hateful while staring at a flood of photos of cute baby animals, gifs of jumping goats, or elephants running through the wilderness with pink converse. This type of content is not only de-escalating, it’s funny. And the internet is fantastic at generating tons of it.

One person intervening is good, but more is better.

Consider reaching out to supportive communities — like listservs, your BFFs text chain, your private Facebook community, etc, and sound the alarm. You can ask them to support by amplifying the voice of the person being harassed, or by reporting the harassment to the platform where it happened. For example, amongst those of us who do this work professionally, it’s not uncommon to see notes like this sent out across listserves: “My friend is being impersonated online & she can’t get the @account removed. Can you join me in reporting it to Twitter?”

A word to the wise: the first thing a lot of people think about when they think about delegate is contacting the police. You want to check-in with the person being harassed before contacting the police on their behalf (unless it’s a medical emergency) because many of the communities most targeted by harassment online — including communities of color, trans* communities, etc, may not feel safer with police presence.

It’s a best practice to have screenshots and hyperlinks of any harassment that you experience online — even if you don’t think it will escalate and you don’t want to report it to law enforcement. The trouble is: capturing that information can deepen the trauma of people harassed online by increasing their exposure to the hate. That’s where you, the bystander, comes in.

This is especially important because when harassment is reported to social media companies, and removed, the evidence of harassment disappears. When offering to do this for someone, we recommend putting the screenshots and hyperlinks into a folder, and emailing the entire folder to them with a message like, ““I want to ensure you have evidence of this abuse. Attached are screenshots to file away.” You want to hid the evidence under a layer of protection (and not cut and paste them directly into an email) so that the person being harassed has some control over when they see the evidence (if they choose to see it at all).

Another option if you’re being harassed is to go to Right To Be’s Storytelling Platform (stories.righttobe.org) where you can leverage a vetted community of bystanders to screenshot the harassment on your behalf, and it will be saved on the backend of the system when (and if) you want to review it. Tactics like “blocking” or “muting” while tempting, can mask the presence of deeper, more serious threats. As a bystander, offer to monitor mentions and document harassment — and encourage the person being harassed to take a break from the internet to take care of themselves and connect with those they love.

When it comes to in-person harassment, we know from research with Cornell University that as little as a knowing glance can reduce the trauma related to harassment. It’s not much different online — if you replace a knowing glance with a direct message or text.

Delay is simply that check-in. It’s about affirming to the person who was harassed that it’s not their fault, and they are not alone. It’s about asking if they want to talk, or if they need helping reporting the harassment or locking down their digital security. While this may seem so simple it’s obvious — too often we see this as a missed step in the process.

Most people who experience harassment understand that not everyone in the world is going to be kind, or agree with them. But what they have a harder time stomaching is that they can be publicly humiliated, with everyone watching, and no one saying anything. What we see time and time again is that the trauma of one doing or saying anything, if oftentimes worse than the trauma of the original incident. So take action, text them if you know them, and send them gifs and gifts to support their healing process.

The last form of intervention is Direct. What distinguishes “Direct” from the other forms is that you’re publicly allying with the person being harassed, in a way that can be easily detected by the person doing the harassment. It’s the one we all think of when we think about intervening, but it’s also the one with the most safety risks because the harassment may turn towards you. Before choosing this option, you’re going to want to do a deeper assessment of your safety:

• What are your identities?
  Could they put you at increased risk? For example, if you’re a woman witnessing sexist behavior, you might choose to pick a less direct action. 
• Are your own biases affecting how you perceive the situation or how you intervene?
  For example, do you assume that Black and Latino men are more likely to escalate to violence than white men? 
• Are you triggered or are your own experiences keeping you from seeing a way through?
  If when you look at the harassment you feel your body transported back to moments of trauma in your own life, you should know this is a normal response. Trying breath regulating exercising like box breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, repeat) or grounding exercises like putting your feet on the floor, back on your chair, and naming three things you see, two things you can touch, and one thing you can hear. If you’re not able to get yourself back into the present moment, you may want to pick a less direct form of intervention. 
• Is the person targeted by abuse somebody you know?
  If so, text, call, or direct message them to check in and can offer support. They may not know what they need, so offer to go on a walk with them, buy them a coffee and listen, or help them lock down their digital security. 
• Is the abuser somebody you know?
  Do you have a good relationship? If so, you may be well positioned to directly intervene by pulling them aside and asking them about their behavior. Questions like, “what makes you feel that way?” Or reflections like, “this just doesn’t sound like you.” can be helpful conversation starters. 
• Does the abuser have a history of escalation?
  This can be hard to know, but a quick search through their online presence can be helpful, especially if the abuser is well-known. 
• Do you have friends who are aware of your plan and can have your back if needed?
  Consider letting some friends know what you’re up to, so that you know they are there if you need to call on them for support later on.